I’m not getting any better, but I try to manage my weakness. If something is not on my calendar, I won’t be there. So I put everything from phone calls to anniversaries on the calendar, with color-coded categories to make it look pretty. I also use Tasks, an electronic To Do list with bells and whistles that pop up on my phone and in my face.

I print endless bulleted lists broken down by home, work, church, etc. with things that need done yesterday, today and tomorrow. I find great joy in checking a box. Done! Finis! Ahhh, accomplishment! Yes, I put things on the list just to cross them off. Brush teeth? Done! Each lunch? Maybe later.

But here’s the problem: at the other end of many of my tasks are real, live, feeling people left in the lurch. A customer whose weekend business depends on me finishing a project. A vendor who can’t pay their staff until I pay them. A friend who feels forgotten.

This recently hit home when I was the empty box on someone’s To Do list. A phone call not returned, a meeting not kept, an email not replied… These may have been items to be checked or appointments to be moved for them, but to me this felt like personal rejection and professional malpractice.

Do you treat Ms. Jones—and your spouse, or your kids, and your coworkers—like tasks or like treasures?

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

Effective.

For 28 cents, Hank got himself a loyal customer. Hank’s succinct note is more sincere than a slick postcard or prerecorded message.  Then again, Hank is sincere. He’s like a machine in our yard- reliable, consistent, hardworking. He leans on his rake and gives you his full attention if you stop to say hello. Hank always includes a self-addressed stamped envelope with his invoice. He sends newsletters about lawn care and additional services he provides. He sends Christmas cards.

Nothing fancy. Just effective.

Hank has never offered us a coupon. He’s never on sale. He doesn’t offer financing (although we might need it after this fall’s bumper crop of hickory nuts). He doesn’t take credit cards.

Are you making elaborate plans to impress Ms. Jones, when all she needs is a simple, scrawled “thanks”?

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

I called a couple of national chains and learned that I had more to learn. What do you mean, what size are the tires? They’re round and bald, that’s all I know. In both cases, the associate who answered the telephone was able to provide prices and check availability for several different sizes and brands.

We like to support locally owned family businesses, so I called the locally owned family tire store. They’ve been around since the horse and buggy days, and pictures of great-great-grandpa line the showroom. A woman answered the phone and I explained what I needed. She asked me to hold for a salesperson, but I was in a hurry and hung up after :57 seconds.

When I called back, I didn’t waste my breath with the greeter and asked for a salesperson immediately. After five (5) – FIVE! – minutes on hold, someone answered and I stated my case.  I remembered that they had serviced the car in the past and asked if he could look it up and see what kind of tires we needed.

“I can only look things up by service date,” he explained.

Seriously? Are you kidding me? I know my name, my address, my phone number, my license plate, the make and model of my car. I barely remember what I ate for breakfast, and you want me to remember the date of my last oil change?

Do you make it hard for Ms. Jones to get what she needs? Are their roadblocks in your organization that make her detour to your competition? Do your systems cooperate, or do they complicate?

Do you have a Sales Prevention Department?

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

That’s why it really-I mean, reeeaaaaaallly-irritates me when I get bad
service. I have zero tolerance. On the other hand, I have a fairly high
level of compassion because I’ve helped my share of mad Ms. Joneses. And I
love, love, love good service when I can get it. I’m first in line with a
comment card or thank you letter.

We recently found ourselves in the middle of a mess with a local service
provider. We were both wrong, but that didn’t make it right.  As a business
owner, I could see their side. As a customer, I didn’t care. The situation
didn’t end nicely, no one was happy, neither one of us ever wants to see the
other ever again. Thinking about it still makes me grit my teeth.

Part of me wants to make a big stink, tell all my professional friends how
badly we were treated, Tweet a bad review and post my gripe on Facebook.
Another part of me, a smaller but wiser part, says to just lump it, take my
toys and go home.

What do you do when you get bad service? Are you less patient with service
providers because you are one yourself? Or do a million hours behind the
service desk make you magnanimous when you’re in front of it?

My small, wise part won. This time.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of
The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these
thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

I was the one who begged to break my husband’s long-stated “no cat” rule. yet every night, where is that cat? Right in the lap of the aforementioned cat-hating husband.

Cats are like customers. Aloof in their neediness. Ungrateful in their allegiance. Disloyal. Difficult to predict. Choosy. Particular. You know the difference between cats and dogs, don’t you? A dog thinks, “You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, and you love me. You must be God!” But a cat thinks, “You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, and you love me. I must be God!”

Ms. Jones is as self-absorbed as my cat. It’s all about her- her needs, her home, her family, her quirks, her demands. She wants to be stroked, petted, fed and loved on her terms.

Cats and customers are only out for themselves. If the focus of your message is about only you- your company, your terms, your selection, your greatness- she will sneer as she saunters off toward a warmer lap.

Does your marketing message make her purr?

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

Blah blah blah.

I’m at a marketing seminar today listening to business owners tell their stories. They were each issued the challenge: “Do you offer a significant advantage to your customer? Are you leading with your most compelling message?” They were also warned, “It’s hard to read the label when you’re inside the bottle.”

Some of the business owners seemed to think they’re better than they actually are. Their unique claim to fame, the ubiquitous “customer service” story, is being made by competitors on every corner. Their prices are low. So are their competitors. Their selection is wide. So is their competitors.

Others couldn’t see their own greatness. 19 questions later, they’d shrug and say something brilliant like, “Well, we use the proceeds from every sale to take five kids off the streets.” Or, “We give lifetime oil changes for $18.95 with every car purchase.” Rustling and murmuring from the audience meant we were really on to something.

How do you get outside the bottle to see yourself real? Ask Ms. Jones what she loves and what she hates about shopping for your product. Then make sure your message addresses her frustrations and answers her questions before she even has a chance to ask.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

If you’re under 24, “talking” means texting. If I can condense my thoughts into 160 characters and don’t mind using my thumbs to communicate, then we can talk. I won’t even think about calling you, because you never answer your phone or check your voice mail. You rarely use email but you change your Facebook status every time you eat out, get sick or update your blog.

If you’re under 50, “talking” can mean email or a phone call. If I can perfectly illiterate every thought and make it past your spam filter, then we can talk. You’ll reply to text messages but you can’t send them, and you’d much rather have an email messages you can keep in your Inbox for a few months.

If you’re under 70, “talking” means just that: face-to-face conversation. If I can’t take the time to pick up the phone or talk with you in person, you don’t want anything to do with me. It’s a matter of respect, courtesy and clarity. Business lunches are best.

How can you make sure you’re communicating with Ms. Jones, your staff – and even your family – in the most effective ways?

• Ask. Make it part of your selling conversation. “Do you prefer phone calls, email or text messages?”
• Duplicate.  Do it all, and keep all your bases covered.
• Experiment. Keep track of the methods you use to contact each customer, and if/when you receive a response.

Throw in a few personality issues, like introversion and extroversion, and you’ve got a tangled mess of communication options. Talk them out, it’s worth the effort.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

“It’s to bury my mother,” she replied.

Oh. I see.

She taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten: my most difficult customer was probably having a difficult day before they ever walked into my store. Whatever has made them irate, irrational, insistent or just plain ugly is rarely about me, it’s always about them. There’s always a back-story, its chapters written long before our climactic encounter.

Take the case of Thomas Gunn, a 76-year old Chattanooga man who held two furniture delivery men hostage at gunpoint last weekend. I’m sure there’s more to his story than a simple mattress sale gone wrong. I’d be willing to bet his entire life had gone wrong in the days before he was charged with aggravated assault, kidnapping and carrying an unlawful weapon “over his furniture order being incomplete.”

My sympathy goes to the two men who were forced to drive back to the furniture store at gunpoint to speak to the manager about Mr. Gunn’s order. But when I’m faced with a difficult customer, a snippy salesperson or even a cranky relative, I try to remember the little old lady who needed a pink blouse to bury her mother.

Sometimes Ms. Jones’ problems are not your own.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

Wikipedia says a headwind reduces an object’s speed and increase the time required to reach its destination. Don’t I know it! The headwind slowed me down when I was already tired. I debated whether to call my mother or my husband to pick me up. Mom would be sympathetic but she didn’t have a bike rack. I’d never hear the end of it from David (he rides the trail in half the time it takes me).

Are you battling a headwind? Some days, even if you’re on the right path and doing the right thing, life feels like swimming upstream. What’s slowing you down? Chances are, you can’t change it any more than I could change the wind. Are you going to push against it or give up? Ironically, a headwind is favorable in takeoffs and landings. Sometimes an opposing force is just what we need to force us to change direction.

Who do you call when the winds blows? There’s a time for sympathy, and there’s a time for unyielding “you can do it” motivation from people who have been there, done that and kicked butt along the way. Choose your confidants carefully, and weigh your words when someone comes in the middle of their storm.

Despite splashing through a fresh puddle of dog pee on the trail, I made it home. Exhausted, but stronger. And ready to do it again tomorrow.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.

I’m clueless about cuteness, as said daughter frequently points out. “People just don’t wear things like that anymore, Mom,” she explains. I’m slowly catching on. Sometimes all it takes to send me back to the closet is her not-so-subtle eye roll or exasperated sigh. (Other times, I wear unapproved goods just to tick her off!)

I am never going to have the flair of a teenage fashionista. And you know what? That’s okay. Unless, of course, it’s my job to make teenagers buy fashion… then I need all the help I can get.

What do you do when you need a clue about Ms. Jones’ heart, mind and soul? Who’s your advisor about her lifestyle, her passion, what she loves, what she hates, what makes her buy, what makes her cringe? We’d be remiss not to mention Meet Ms. Jones™ demographic studies and customer personas, but you don’t have to spend a cent to get a glimpse into Ms. Jones’ world.

Start by taking your team on a field trip to your local bookstore. Ask for the 15 top selling magazines. As you flip through the glossy pages, make note of the topics in the cover articles, the predominant colors, the angle of photography, advertising layouts, fonts and decorative elements, language and idioms.

Now watch television. Google the top shows, and set your DVR or rent an entire season on DVD. How do the characters talk? What do their homes look like? What do they wear? Who’s advertising during prime time? What do they talk about? Take advantage of the millions of dollars and mindboggling research that’s already being spent to woo Ms. Jones.

Unlike wearing my favorite t-shirt to the grocery store in spite of daughter’s scorn, Ms. Jones won’t excuse your faux pas—fashion or otherwise.

The “Word of the Week” is written by Amy Lively of The Lively Merchant, R&A’s partner in providing these thought-provoking weekly witticisms.